||In December of 2000,
four young ladies braved the perilous journey to Ramona, CA, to participate
in The Great Cookie Bake 2000 with Susan This was record turnout
for this event, largely because the was the first time it's ever been held.
Keep reading to hear about
the extraordinary physical strength required to mix so much cookie dough,
the dicey acrobatics of using so many cookie cutters near so many fingers,
the small appliance meltdown that nearly brought the whole thing to an
untimely end, and finally the joyous triumph of icing and decorations.
The Cast of Characters
started the day off by firing up the ovens and wondering when the cookies
would appear inside. When we explained that this wasn't like an automatic
bread machine, she changed her story and claimed she could tell by looking
at the blackbody radiation when the oven was at the correct temperature.
When she was able to give an estimate of the signal-to-noise ratio of her
perceived spectrum as affected by the background gamma rays and weakly
interactive massive particles, we decided to take her word for it.
In any case, she became our expert at taking out cookies before
they became black bodies.
displayed her legendary smile regularly during the baking process.
In fact, to soften the butter we simply had Martha smile at it and it would
melt instantly. Here she is shown warming up for what ended up being hours
and hours of dough-smashing. As the only member of the party wearing
flannel, she was nominated "honorary Al Borland" and given lots of manual
labor; however, her artistic touches during the icing phase of the project
were second to none.
less than ten hours, Patty transformed herself from cookie-baking newbie
to Dough Processing Specialist, Second Class (E-4). Her newly-acquired
skills include boiling molasses, painting with cookie icing, and cutting
out cookies with the correct side of the cookie cutter towards the dough
so that it cuts the dough, not her hand. (Ask to see the really neat
angel-shaped scar on the palm of her hand... it's a sign from above that
she is destined to make many cookies.)
won the race to be first out of the oven with a batch of cookies (see the
before and after shots below). She also took the lead in ingredient
quality control (through sampling methods) and desecration of holiday symbols
(by using icing to render Frosty the Snowman with
his tongue sticking out. Everyone knows Frosty the snowman has no
the hostess with an unnerving love for power tools, already had one in
the oven long before cookie-day began. So far, the baby seems to
like the chocolate-chip best, kicking up a storm when Susan so much as
smells one. Susan obtained many of the supplies required for the
baking adventure, including icing tints in the traditional Christmas colors
of Barney Green and Purple. It may be time for Santa to take another
look at his fashion choices if a chubby green and purple dinasaur who sings
about loving everyone is more popular than a chubby red and white guy who
brings presents, candy, and other loot.
(Notice how the talented Susam balances a box of cookies on her head
the entire time!)
The Cheesy Posed Shot
The Good, the Bad, and the Dead
|We all know that a car with its hood up indicates something has gone
wrong and the car may not have much life left.
||So when we see a Kitchen Center with the beaters up and smoke pouring
out, the news cannot be good. Interestingly, after letting the Oster
cool down for a bit it recovered and continued working well the rest of
the afternoon. Moreover, one batch of cookies has a very interesting
||Five women and one sensitive new-age guy. Guess which one broke
the wooden spoon? Guess which one cried over it as well? Apparently
someone broke the handle of one of my measuring cups, too, but they ditched
the evidence before I got a picture and nobody's saying who did it.
Before and After
||The very first batch of
cookies turned out pretty well for a first batch, but we suspect someone
may have counted out one-too-few cups of flour or one-too-many cups of
milk. The upside is that they tasted fine, and having them flat like
pancakes made it much easier for us non-nut-eaters to find cookies with
walnuts in them.
Somebody Didn't Get Any
Bonnie, but fortunately for all our coworkers, she is allergic to wheat
and thus doesn't get any cookies. Instead, she gets a little love
and attention from Molly, which is better than any cookie anyway (and less